From Ian Casocot’s site: I have only one, perfectly doable resolution for the coming New Year: that I will be able to appreciate more and more the things that I am capable of and passionate about -- writing, designing, teaching, among other things -- and learn to value my place in this world. It's the first step to a happy life.
I was inspired by this that I thought back to 2009 and what a year it has been! Here are excerpts from my journal:
1. I am thankful for 2009. Most of this year had been a dizzying emotional ride filled with false expectations and imagined hopes. I had held on to things that I shouldn’t have held on to. I had found myself having difficulty letting go of people that I should have let go of the moment they said goodbye.
I had often found myself asking God if I had made the right decisions in the past—the schools I went to and the courses I took up. I had asked God many times if I am where I am supposed to be (and He always answered “yes!”).
One day, I just stopped hoping falsely and let go. I forgave and moved on.
2. I don’t know how and when exactly it happened (or when the process started) but I’m better now. I have a better view of myself, of who and what I am and can and cannot do. No more striving to be who I am not.
And while I have become more self-aware, I have also started to explore the things that I may be capable of. I had toyed with the idea of taking up guitar and baking lessons but later realized that these are not my forte. I took up writing lessons instead. I am now thinking whether to take up drawing/painting lessons. I am now more discerning of the things that I should and shouldn’t do. I don’t want to waste money and time on something that I am not enabled to do. We have different gifts and that’s what we should be able to discern.
I just want to be the best of whatever I am and can be—be the best business development manager and the best writer that I can be and whatever other role God gives me.
I have a better view of my purpose in life and the legacy that I want to build and leave.
3. Thank you, God. Thank you for 2009 and the lessons it brought. Thank you for not letting me go. Thank you because you are now so tangible in my life—in every area of it. Thank you for your countless assurances and thank you for your faithfulness! Thank you for breaking and molding me.
Thank you because in spite of my imperfections, you brought people to me whom I was able to inspire and encourage. Thank you for the wisdom and the words. Indeed, he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.
I am at peace and ready to be sent to wherever God asks me to go. Ibang klase magbigay ng adventure si God, masaya na mahirap pero palaging panalo! Because He is always with us wherever we go. Saan ka pa?! I have tasted and seen that the Lord is good so why should I rely on things or relationships that are otherwise fleeting?
Thank you for the discernment of right from wrong and the courage to stand for what’s right. Thank you for making me go through the refiner’s fire because I wouldn’t be who and where I am right now if not for that. Hindsight is indeed 20/20, as Celine Lopez said. When God does something, walang trumpets or big bang pero palaging maganda ang kinakalabasan!
4. So what’s for 2010? Just to be the best that God intended me to be; to be prepared to go where I am called to go; to know and enrich myself more; to appreciate what I have; to dream more and act on those dreams with discernment; to build a more intimate relationship with God and seek His will for my life; to run the race that is set before me and finish it in victory with my integrity intact.
Welcome, 2010!
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Mga Tanong
1. Bakit malungkot ang nag-iisa o lahat ba ng nag-iisa ay malungkot?
2. Kapag masaya ako, green ang damo. Kapag malungkot ako, green pa rin ang damo. So, sino ba talaga ang may issue, ako o ang damo?
from a film presentation during VCF’s 25th anniversary concert
And my own:
Why do people end relationships only through text nowadays? Are the people who do this cowards? Or does it depend on how committed they once were to the relationship they are ending and the person they once were with?
2. Kapag masaya ako, green ang damo. Kapag malungkot ako, green pa rin ang damo. So, sino ba talaga ang may issue, ako o ang damo?
from a film presentation during VCF’s 25th anniversary concert
And my own:
Why do people end relationships only through text nowadays? Are the people who do this cowards? Or does it depend on how committed they once were to the relationship they are ending and the person they once were with?
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Finding My Filipino-ness
In the midst of all the celebration of Pacquiao’s triumph over Hatton and my reflection on the book of Nehemiah, I suddenly felt glad and proud to be Filipino; not that I never was but I just never had the need to emphasize that I am a Filipino. My pride does not only come from the honor that Pacquiao and Lea Salonga and all the popular Filipinos all over the world have brought our country; my pride comes from knowing that I am a Filipino who can do something to uplift the life of others in my country. I am a Filipino, born and raised as one—not as some other race—because I can contribute to bringing back the glory that our country once had. I am a Filipino who can help make this world a better place one person at a time.
I never dreamt of migrating to another country and living there permanently and getting another citizenship. I have been disillusioned once—I had given up any hope for our political system and politicians—and had planned to leave the country but I always had the intention of coming back to help my country. But I realized that my citizenship should not be limited by my address. I can be in London, Boston, or Tondo and still be Filipino in mind and heart.
My being Filipino now is more than abiding by the traffic rules. It is more than using the pedestrian lane when crossing the street; it is more than following the traffic lights. It is more than paying the correct amount of taxes. It is more than having integrity as a worker. It is in seeing to it that a child who cannot afford to go to school gets the education he deserves. It is in seeing to it that a worker gets paid decently. It is in seeing to it that a family has their own source of livelihood. It is in seeing to it that a child never goes hungry. Yes, even one decent meal can make a difference.
My advocacies since I was a kid haven’t changed—I have always wanted to help in the areas of education especially for children, in providing livelihood for the poor, and in conserving the environment. I thank God for the constant reminder to reach out. And I thank God because I now have a better view of my sphere of influence and where and how exactly I can make a difference. Change starts with a person, with one small step, and it starts with me.
Let these be my legacy—to help even just one child go to school, to teach a family to fish, to feed street children. For I know how it feels to go to bed hungry. During 2008’s prayer and fasting, I once had to go to bed with a headache due to hunger. And that hunger and headache were something that I could have avoided by eating. I had a choice. But a lot of children do not, and I would like to give them that choice. Too bad that good education and good food have become a privilege for the few in this country. I hope to change that—one kid, one person, one family at a time. Let me correct that…I am now walking in faith that I can change that because I have been doing things to change that because in 2009’s prayer and fasting, I was challenged to do something more concrete--to act on my desire to help for my fasting would have gone to waste if all I had was a desire, a vision with no action.
I continue to be moved by the sight of hungry children on TV. I passed by the Quirino Grandstand last June 14th and saw the long lines of people participating in the government’s employment program under the grueling heat of the sun. I was moved to the point of tears that I prayed for them to find a job. We will have a presidential election next year. I have been praying for discernment on who to vote for and for these aspirants to have the genuine concern for our country and not just the selfish desire for power. With the prayers comes the desire to be shown how to help better the lives of people.
I may not see the Philippines back in its former glory in my lifetime. It will not take just one government or one administration but I am standing in faith that my efforts to help my country will make a difference however small it may be.
I never dreamt of migrating to another country and living there permanently and getting another citizenship. I have been disillusioned once—I had given up any hope for our political system and politicians—and had planned to leave the country but I always had the intention of coming back to help my country. But I realized that my citizenship should not be limited by my address. I can be in London, Boston, or Tondo and still be Filipino in mind and heart.
Ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country…The world is very different now. For man holds in his mortal hands the power to abolish all forms of human poverty and all forms of human life.--JFK
My being Filipino now is more than abiding by the traffic rules. It is more than using the pedestrian lane when crossing the street; it is more than following the traffic lights. It is more than paying the correct amount of taxes. It is more than having integrity as a worker. It is in seeing to it that a child who cannot afford to go to school gets the education he deserves. It is in seeing to it that a worker gets paid decently. It is in seeing to it that a family has their own source of livelihood. It is in seeing to it that a child never goes hungry. Yes, even one decent meal can make a difference.
My advocacies since I was a kid haven’t changed—I have always wanted to help in the areas of education especially for children, in providing livelihood for the poor, and in conserving the environment. I thank God for the constant reminder to reach out. And I thank God because I now have a better view of my sphere of influence and where and how exactly I can make a difference. Change starts with a person, with one small step, and it starts with me.
Let these be my legacy—to help even just one child go to school, to teach a family to fish, to feed street children. For I know how it feels to go to bed hungry. During 2008’s prayer and fasting, I once had to go to bed with a headache due to hunger. And that hunger and headache were something that I could have avoided by eating. I had a choice. But a lot of children do not, and I would like to give them that choice. Too bad that good education and good food have become a privilege for the few in this country. I hope to change that—one kid, one person, one family at a time. Let me correct that…I am now walking in faith that I can change that because I have been doing things to change that because in 2009’s prayer and fasting, I was challenged to do something more concrete--to act on my desire to help for my fasting would have gone to waste if all I had was a desire, a vision with no action.
Is this the kind of fast I have chosen, only a day for a man to humble himself? Is it only for bowing one's head like a reed and for lying on sackcloth and ashes? Is that what you call a fast, a day acceptable to the LORD? Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?—Isaiah 58:5-7
I continue to be moved by the sight of hungry children on TV. I passed by the Quirino Grandstand last June 14th and saw the long lines of people participating in the government’s employment program under the grueling heat of the sun. I was moved to the point of tears that I prayed for them to find a job. We will have a presidential election next year. I have been praying for discernment on who to vote for and for these aspirants to have the genuine concern for our country and not just the selfish desire for power. With the prayers comes the desire to be shown how to help better the lives of people.
All this will not be finished in the first 100 days. Nor will it be finished in the first 1,000 days, nor in the life of this Administration, nor even perhaps in our lifetime on this planet. But let us begin.--JFK
I may not see the Philippines back in its former glory in my lifetime. It will not take just one government or one administration but I am standing in faith that my efforts to help my country will make a difference however small it may be.
An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.—Martin Luther King, Jr.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Let's Talk
I miss you.
I miss our school days—when we still had much time to talk and see each other even when we were surviving on a student allowance.
Look at us now. We have the money but we don’t have the time anymore for even a small talk. We only get to know about each other’s life through our status on Facebook, which I barely visit nowadays. I think Twitter is becoming more popular but I don’t intend to be there—140 characters would not be enough to tell you what’s going on in my life. Besides, I want to be more personal with you. I don’t want some generic broadcast of my life to the world to be my means to reach you.
We email each other but our mails have become shorter and shorter. We’re both too busy nowadays. Our hugs have been reduced to asterisks and letters *hugs*. Do you know that a person needs to be hugged at least three times a day? How do we do that? *hugs* *hugs* *hugs*? We promise to write longer, we plan to write more but we have to fight even for the time to do so. When I decide to go back to school once again, I am afraid that whatever little time I have right now to write to you will be taken away.
I miss our school days—when we still had much time to talk and see each other even when we were surviving on a student allowance.
Look at us now. We have the money but we don’t have the time anymore for even a small talk. We only get to know about each other’s life through our status on Facebook, which I barely visit nowadays. I think Twitter is becoming more popular but I don’t intend to be there—140 characters would not be enough to tell you what’s going on in my life. Besides, I want to be more personal with you. I don’t want some generic broadcast of my life to the world to be my means to reach you.
We email each other but our mails have become shorter and shorter. We’re both too busy nowadays. Our hugs have been reduced to asterisks and letters *hugs*. Do you know that a person needs to be hugged at least three times a day? How do we do that? *hugs* *hugs* *hugs*? We promise to write longer, we plan to write more but we have to fight even for the time to do so. When I decide to go back to school once again, I am afraid that whatever little time I have right now to write to you will be taken away.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Thoughts on a Sunday Morning and Some Days After
1. No one can escape God’s stubborn love. If you are God’s child, He would do everything to bring you back and align your will with His. If He has to break you to bring you back to Himself, He would…repeatedly, if necessary.
a. And I have experienced this twice in my life. If others bite the dust, I ate mud and rolled on it. I was dirty and muddy all over and was way down the pit.
b. On the first fall, I tried seeking comfort from people but they just failed me. I thought I could solve my issues through vices but good enough that I was always too lazy to go out or too stingy to spend on something so fleeting (a bit of wisdom amidst the foolishness). It was a long process of learning, of breaking and molding, and I realized that only God could help me. The season after the first fall, before the second fall, was the best time of my life. I felt completely certain that I was in step with God. And as Pastor Joey said, if God told me then that it was time to go home, I would have made no adjustments in my life because I knew that I was living my life exactly the way I should have been living it.
c. The second time I fell, I knew better. No false expectations from men, no wasting time on vices but my focus was on God. I sought Him and I am still seeking Him but I know that I am definitely out of the pit and onto another enjoyable season of my life. I long to have that back. I would like to be able to tell God that if it is time to go home any time soon, I could gladly say, “Father, I am ready.”
2. Why am I crying?
a. Amidst the worship song “Indescribable”, I cried. The lyrics that made me: You placed the stars in the sky and you know them by name / You are amazing God.
b. So why did I cry? I asked God to fill me with His Holy Spirit so I could truly worship Him and I knew He did so that morning. It felt good to truly worship an amazing God who loves me faithfully in spite of everything I had done and all the mud I had eaten and all the rottenness I had gone through: Incomparable, unchangeable / You see the depths of my heart and you love me the same / You are amazing God.
3. If God’s revelations to me are any indication of wisdom, then I am happy and thankful for the affirmation.
a. Proverbs 9:10-the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom
b. Psalm 25:12-when you fear God, you’re going to be instructed by Him; when you fear God, you begin to think His thoughts (Amen to this! :))
c. I believe that He has been giving me wisdom and instructing me and I have been thinking His thoughts. I believe that my understanding of His Word is a proof of that. Yes, there is reproof but I need that, I should want that.
a. And I have experienced this twice in my life. If others bite the dust, I ate mud and rolled on it. I was dirty and muddy all over and was way down the pit.
b. On the first fall, I tried seeking comfort from people but they just failed me. I thought I could solve my issues through vices but good enough that I was always too lazy to go out or too stingy to spend on something so fleeting (a bit of wisdom amidst the foolishness). It was a long process of learning, of breaking and molding, and I realized that only God could help me. The season after the first fall, before the second fall, was the best time of my life. I felt completely certain that I was in step with God. And as Pastor Joey said, if God told me then that it was time to go home, I would have made no adjustments in my life because I knew that I was living my life exactly the way I should have been living it.
c. The second time I fell, I knew better. No false expectations from men, no wasting time on vices but my focus was on God. I sought Him and I am still seeking Him but I know that I am definitely out of the pit and onto another enjoyable season of my life. I long to have that back. I would like to be able to tell God that if it is time to go home any time soon, I could gladly say, “Father, I am ready.”
2. Why am I crying?
a. Amidst the worship song “Indescribable”, I cried. The lyrics that made me: You placed the stars in the sky and you know them by name / You are amazing God.
b. So why did I cry? I asked God to fill me with His Holy Spirit so I could truly worship Him and I knew He did so that morning. It felt good to truly worship an amazing God who loves me faithfully in spite of everything I had done and all the mud I had eaten and all the rottenness I had gone through: Incomparable, unchangeable / You see the depths of my heart and you love me the same / You are amazing God.
3. If God’s revelations to me are any indication of wisdom, then I am happy and thankful for the affirmation.
a. Proverbs 9:10-the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom
b. Psalm 25:12-when you fear God, you’re going to be instructed by Him; when you fear God, you begin to think His thoughts (Amen to this! :))
c. I believe that He has been giving me wisdom and instructing me and I have been thinking His thoughts. I believe that my understanding of His Word is a proof of that. Yes, there is reproof but I need that, I should want that.
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