October 19, 2008
Hil’s Facebook Status: …Manny is with Our Daddy (or something like that)
My Thoughts: Manny? The actor? The commercial model? Dead?
Julla (in a chat on Facebook): I still can’t believe Manny’s dead.
Marian: Yeah…just saw his ad yesterday. What caused it? When?
Julla: 17th. Stroke.
My thoughts: He seemed healthy to me. He was so young! 29, 30? (Gayette’s blog said he was actually 37. Manny must be smiling at me from heaven for having thought he was younger. :D)
I never personally knew Manny. Just saw him in church once or twice. The actor and commercial model friend of my friends from small group, that was Manny to me. When I read Gayette’s and Lance’s blogs and even Hil’s comments, that was how I learned about Manny who was the big brother to Gayette, Hil, and Lance and I know, to a lot more people from church and outside of it; through these writings, I learned about Manny who was a light to every life he touched. Manny, the one who was “always full of joy in life,” wrote Gayette. “If I was down in the dumps, he’d sink to that level to pull me through my own garbage. If I was on top of the world, he’d take a seat beside me to watch the fire-works,” wrote Lance (this really made me teary-eyed…).
Death, if we allow it to, can have a profound effect on us. How many times has it reminded us that life on earth is indeed fleeting; that it can be extinguished with a snap of a finger or the blink of an eye? How many times has it made us step back and reassess our priorities? How many times has it made us resolve to express our love for our loved ones, to spend more time with them rather than at work or whatever other non-essential preoccupation we have? How many times has it taught us to live each day to the fullest as if it were our last? Death… a reality we avoid talking or thinking about…it can remind us to really, really live life the way it should be lived.
Today, while I still have the time, I would like to thank those who have touched my life in one way or another (you know who you are :D). To my friends who have stood by me through all my moodiness and craziness, I love you, I love you, I love you. I thank God for all of you.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Today’s Lesson: The Question “How are You?”
I can think of a lot of expressions or words that people use so insincerely nowadays. I love you, I miss you, friend, love…and I realized “how are you?” is also being asked insincerely. I’ve come across several people who asked me “how are you?” when they saw me walking in the office corridor then walked past me without even hearing my answer. Huh? I thought they wanted to know how I was. Has it become the mechanical “hi” or “hello” in the office or in school?
Anyway, this morning I asked someone “how are you?” Now, this question wasn’t rhetorical. People who really, really know me know that I exert the effort to make sure I am sincere and honest with what I say or do by asking myself whether I am being honest or truthful; otherwise, I exert more effort to keep my mouth shut (all the more when I have nothing good to say). Once, someone told me that she missed me. I was at a loss for words. How was I supposed to reply when I didn’t feel the same? I smiled. So, when I asked that someone “how are you?” I was really expecting an answer.
Three things, I realized, why people ask “how are you?” Of course, there’s that insincere, rhetorical, mechanical question like the usual “hi” or “hello”; two, they really are interested in knowing the goings-on in someone’s life and want to be involved in it; and three, it is their way of asking whether someone was free enough for them to talk to about their own problems. I remember when someone asked me how I was. I answered I was fine and he replied back by telling me about his anxieties. By asking me “how are you?” he was just actually looking for an opening to tell me his problems. I was glad that I answered his question because I felt that with my answer, he was encouraged to confide to me what had been bugging him. He could have been feeling lonely all along until he found someone he could chat with. So what was my purpose for asking that someone “how are you?” The last two reasons I cited.
I learned a lesson today. When someone asks me how I am, especially someone who’s really close to me, I should exert the effort to answer. I will never know but maybe he is just a lonely soul looking to strike a conversation or a problematic one looking for someone to confide to. A seemingly innocent question may actually save someone’s day.
Anyway, this morning I asked someone “how are you?” Now, this question wasn’t rhetorical. People who really, really know me know that I exert the effort to make sure I am sincere and honest with what I say or do by asking myself whether I am being honest or truthful; otherwise, I exert more effort to keep my mouth shut (all the more when I have nothing good to say). Once, someone told me that she missed me. I was at a loss for words. How was I supposed to reply when I didn’t feel the same? I smiled. So, when I asked that someone “how are you?” I was really expecting an answer.
Three things, I realized, why people ask “how are you?” Of course, there’s that insincere, rhetorical, mechanical question like the usual “hi” or “hello”; two, they really are interested in knowing the goings-on in someone’s life and want to be involved in it; and three, it is their way of asking whether someone was free enough for them to talk to about their own problems. I remember when someone asked me how I was. I answered I was fine and he replied back by telling me about his anxieties. By asking me “how are you?” he was just actually looking for an opening to tell me his problems. I was glad that I answered his question because I felt that with my answer, he was encouraged to confide to me what had been bugging him. He could have been feeling lonely all along until he found someone he could chat with. So what was my purpose for asking that someone “how are you?” The last two reasons I cited.
I learned a lesson today. When someone asks me how I am, especially someone who’s really close to me, I should exert the effort to answer. I will never know but maybe he is just a lonely soul looking to strike a conversation or a problematic one looking for someone to confide to. A seemingly innocent question may actually save someone’s day.
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