How and why I stopped being a serial dater

Excerpt from David Nugent's column in the Philippine Daily Inquirer:

The biggest mistake? Getting into a relationship just for the heck of it. Or to escape a family situation, or a family, or yourself. To escape for any reason.

A relationship isn’t an escape. Never get into it unless it’s for the most basic reason—because you love and respect that person.

And never expect that love and respect go hand in hand. Sometimes, they don’t. I’ve loved people I didn’t respect all that much, and I’ve respected some I wasn’t in love with.

I learned that one has to do more than adore the person you’re with. You must admire him or her as well. I think it’s important to keep in mind that neither love nor respect should be given too easily. Proving love and earning respect take time and patience.

Another big mistake I had was using my partner as panacea for not having dealt with personal issues I should have resolved before getting into any relationship. In the Philippines, we spend a huge amount of time not dealing with our issues, whether they involve parents, siblings or ourselves.

Here’s a suggestion: Before you fall in love—even before you think you’ve fallen—take a breather and call a shrink. We’re a people who should have a national therapy conversation. The most important relationship you should ensure is with yourself first. Unless you fix what is inside, no other person, no matter how wonderful he or she may be, will be able to do it for you.

Falling and Getting Up

This spoke to me when I read Francis Kong's article in the Philippine Star yesterday:

We get a great opportunity to do something worthwhile and blow it by doing or saying something stupid. Or when faced with temptation, we know how to resist the enemy because we know all the right Bible verses to defend for ourselves. However, instead of putting on the “whole armor of God,” we seek to overcome in our own strength—and fail miserably.

However, when we do fail, the important thing is to get up, learn from our mistakes, and go on having learned to put our trust in God in every situation in which we find ourselves.

Many have resolved and broken their resolutions. Thousands have started and have fallen out by the way. But not many people have really gotten anywhere who did not set a goal for themselves and make a start toward that destination. Not many have done anything worth while without a determination to do. Says C. L. Paddock

Don’t give up. Trust in God, learn the lessons and move forward.

More here.

The End

Another chapter in my life is about to end. After nine months, I will soon plunge into the real corporate world. The past nine months has been more like going into Telco University but soon, I will go to real telco work--lesser handholding, I suppose, more accountabilities, and no room for mistakes (not that I was allowed to commit any as a management trainee). This is it!

When the seemingly final decision on my assignment sank in, my first reaction was fear—fear of the boss and fear of the job. How is the boss? Will I be able to do my job well? I had to catch and remind myself that there is nothing to fear. In my many years working and even studying, I have learned the secret to doing a job well:

1 Corinthians 10:31 (New International Version)
31So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

For some time in my former life, I used to work so hard because I was afraid of my boss, afraid of what she would say if I bungle the work. I think it would be appropriate to say that I worked hard to please her, a boss who left me scarred as a worker. I never really realized how badly her criticisms had affected me until I noticed that all my reflection papers in HBO about “How Not to Behave as a Boss” were about her. She said some things that I now just choose not to remember. Most of the things in the office were about her--what she wanted done, how she wanted things done, or how she would react if she saw our work. Even her one-downs and the rest of the staff would consult one another on the way she wanted things done so as not to get a reprimand or a flying stack of paper or a crumpled document that should have been for her approval.

When I started my walk with God and learned about the verse above, I had to teach myself to stop pleasing people. I have learned that I have only One True Boss and that is God, and if I base my standards on His, I would never go wrong. Every time I do something, at work or in school, I ask myself, “Would this please God?” Every time I feel like saying “pwede na yan,” I ask myself, “but, would it please God?” Ever since I have adopted this mentality, I have had very rewarding results.

I can say that I give my best whenever I do something not because I want the recognition but because it is the right thing to do (do I hear workaholic and perfectionist?). After all, if God is my boss and if He has equipped me to a job well, wouldn’t I do just that? I think this has somehow affected my reaction when people praise my work or compliment or thank me for a good job. While the boss is there all praises for my work, I would be thinking, “Why is she thanking me?” or “What’s so good with my work?” “Isn’t that what I am supposed to do—to do good work?” I mean, don’t compliment me because that’s what I am supposed to do anyway, right? I have heard these things several times during my training program and I have since learned to appreciate the compliments for just as God wants us to glorify Him through our works, He is also “not unjust to forget your work and labor of love which you have shown toward His name” (Heb 6:10 NKJV)…There were also times when I thought I just turned in ordinary work in spite of how badly I had wanted to do it better, but to my surprise, I still ended up receiving good feedback about it. It is amazing how God can still reward us even when we think we don’t deserve it. His standards are really different from ours. He has been making me grow from glory to glory even when I think I don’t deserve it.

God wants us to do everything for His glory. But unlike some bosses who expect the best from their subordinates without giving them any guidance at all, God actually equips us to do just that—give Him glory. He gives us the strength because He is the most powerful and wealthiest King we can ever know.

Philippians 4:13,19 (New International Version)
13I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
19And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

While meeting with the HR person this morning, I was reminded that there is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18 (New International Version)


So, why fear? Am I being punished? I believe otherwise. Because just as God has been surprising me at work and even in my studies before at AIM, I know that there is something waiting for me in this new assignment. And with the perfect love He has for me, this fear will go away. I know that He will cover me in the same way that He has always covered me just when I start to fear and doubt.

A picture just crossed my mind: Jesus and I are sitting on top of a table in an open grass field, we’re swinging our legs, and He’s telling me that He has prepared something good for me. I say, we should find some isaw or fishballs and Coke.

The Mail

5 a.m. I am sitting across the TV watching a show I barely understand. A letter envelope comes in my mailbox. The sender’s name is blank but the name is my name and the address is my home. I put the TV in mute, anticipating the message of the anonymous sender. I turn the lights on and prepare to read.

The crumple of the envelope as I open it makes a sharp contrast to the silence of my room. My room’s lights stand out in the sea of darkness outside.

The letter says that today is my last day on earth for tonight when I sleep, tomorrow I will wake up no more. Suddenly, my life flashes in front of me.

The smile on my parents’ lips when I was born. My first day in prep school. What’s the name of that boy again who stepped on my foot and made me cry?

I see myself curled up in bed, crying, the first time someone broke my heart.

I see myself waking up at 3 a.m. to answer the call of a friend who got pregnant out of wedlock. That was ten years ago.

I remember that party with friends that was filled with laughter and that birthday celebration with my family.

The end. My failures, my success, my unfulfilled dreams are now just a speck of dust in the air. Irrelevant.

I look at the TV and turn it off. The screen turns black, all the colors reduced to a white dot at the center that in a while will disappear.

The letter is signed: God.

Dazed

I woke up at 4:30 am today to the pelting of the rain on my window. In the coldness of the room, I felt your arm around my waist and your breath on my nape. I turned around to look at your beautiful face and gaze at your long lashes, your not-so-perfect nose, and your red lips. Your eyes were closed but even then, I knew they held all the beauty of your soul. I took in all the beauty that was before me, illuminated by the light coming from the lamppost outside the window.

I felt your hand caress my arm, my shoulder, my neck, my face then you planted a soft kiss on my lips. I anticipated a beautiful dance to happen, with the rain outside playing its music. You have always considered the rain sexy.

I heard footsteps inside the room and turned to see a child that had your long lashes, your not-so-perfect nose, and your red lips. She had tears on her cheeks that reminded that today, I would look at your face beneath the glass covering of your casket for the last time; that starting today, there would be no more long lashes, not-so-perfect nose, and red lips to gaze at; that starting today, there would be no more dance when the rain comes while we are in bed.

Letters

In my to-do-list last weekend were three letters for three friends that had been waiting to be written. I finished writing the letters yesterday and have sent them out. (I have learned that I am not so good at face-to-face conversations especially the ones when I have to advise or reconcile with someone as I have the tendency to be brutally honest, so just let me write. At least I can edit my words and be gentler.)

I wrote mostly about humility and forgiveness, two areas I have always struggled with, especially forgiveness. I don’t forgive easily. I give in to anger and say hurtful words and think thoughts I would rather not talk about because I am not proud of them. But recent, or let’s say, two events that had transpired in the past two years of my life taught me just about these two things—humility and forgiveness, underscore on forgiveness. I have learned that I just have to decide to forgive, not because of the other person but because it is the right thing to do. I have to choose to forgive because not doing so spells defeat on my part. The other person’s world will not stop because I haven’t forgiven him but I would be stuck with the hatred in my heart. That’s tragic. I would have lingering anger while the other would be celebrating life, such a loser!

Late last year, over pasta and pizza, I told a friend how I had asked myself one time why I had to go through so much emotional pain. I mean, I could have just gone through such kind of pain vicariously, right? I have witnessed friends go through break-ups and separations; were those not enough to learn my lesson?

As I wrote the letters, I remembered the lessons I have learned from those two events. And those are what I passed on to my friends. Now I know why I had to go through those experiences, through such heart-wrenching pain.

Not Yet Over Him

...The tribute to Francis M. On the day of the concert, people were still trying to come to grips with the news of Francis Magalona’s death. He had been due to perform in the concert. The Eraserheads prepared a tribute instead— “Sumigaw tayo para kay Francis!” Ely said. The crowd broke into a deafening chant, “Francis! Francis!”

Raymund held up a sign that read, “Rock Ed Salutes The Man From Manila.” The band played “Superproxy” and “Kaleidoscope World,” with Ely rapping, instead of Francis.

Many people online have written that the teleprompter set up in front of the stage must have been a big help when Ely had to rap “Superproxy.” Truth is, the lyrics of the rap were not on the teleprompter. Yes, Ely knows them by heart.

(haaayyy, Ely…)

...Three for the road. The Eraserheads had done an encore, the show was over, or so everyone thought. People started to spill out of the concert grounds, the crew took over the stage and started packing up.

But then, Raymund returned and said, “Gusto ninyo pa ba?”

The crowd went wild. “Tawagin niyo si Ely!” “Tawagin ninyo si Marcus!”

Soon, the four were back onstage, standing in a circle. Ely asked the crowd, “Kaya ninyo pa ba?” Everyone was still going wild. “Okay. Three for the road,” he said. They played “Ligaya,” “Sembreak” and “Toyang.”

Ely finally left his comfort zone behind the mic stand and actually went down to the crowd, making people sing parts of Toyang. Asked later why they decided to play more songs, Raymund said, “Sobrang bitin pa kami ni Buddy! Gusto ko pa nga ng sampu eh!”

The extra songs may have been unplanned (and unrehearsed) but they did not come as a surprise.

Apparently, in the last rehearsals, Ely said, “’Pag hindi tayo tinigilan, dire-diretso lang tayo.”

This part of the show resonated so much with the crowd not just because they played three well-loved songs, but also because it gave fans hope that maybe, just maybe, like the fans, the Eraserheads didn’t want the night to end. (nakakaiyak naman pagkakasulat nito…pramis)

For more of the “10 Greatest Moments of Eraserheads’ Final Set”, go to www.inquirer.net.

*****

A week later and I have yet to shake off the Eraserheads/Ely Buendia/rocker phase. I have to shake this off. Stat!

*Blockquotes mine.

Climate Change and Earth Hour

The worst-case scenarios on climate change envisaged by the UN two years ago are already being realised, say scientists at an international meeting.

In a statement in Copenhagen on their six key messages to political leaders, they say there is a increasing risk of abrupt or irreversible climate shifts.

Even modest temperature rises will affect millions of people, particularly in the developing world, they warn.

For more about this news, click here.

*****
This year, Earth Hour has been transformed into the world’s first global election, between Earth and global warming.

For the first time in history, people of all ages, nationalities, race and background have the opportunity to use their light switch as their vote – Switching off your lights is a vote for Earth, or leaving them on is a vote for global warming. WWF are urging the world to VOTE EARTH and reach the target of 1 billion votes, which will be presented to world leaders at the Global Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen 2009.

VOTE EARTH by simply switching off your lights for one hour, and join the world for Earth Hour.

Saturday, March 28, 8:30-9:30pm.

For more about the Earth Hour, click here.

Status

This part of the column “Emily’s Post” in the Philippine Daily Inquirer made me smile.

What exactly is his status? Married? Separated? Separating? With children?

These should be made into additional statuses in Facebook, Friendster, and other social networking websites that ask for the civil status of the member.

For the rest of the column, click here.

Job Description

Multi-talented or multi-profession
BUSINESS MATTERS (BEYOND THE BOTTOM LINE)
By Francis J. Kong
Updated March 15, 2009 12:00 AM
www.philstar.com

I meet people every day of my life. Maybe this is because I do training and I speak to crowds practically 6 days a week. Sundays I go to a huge church that gathers thousands of people every meeting. This is why I meet people all the time.

Some people sort of know me. One would approach me with a smile on her face and say, “Excuse me but aren’t you Francis Kong, the speaker?” If the person looks friendly and bubbly I would reply, “Yes mam, been for a long time…..” That would bring a smile on her face. And then some would come to me and say, “You must be Francis Kong, the newspaper columnist?” Others would say, “I have read your books sir. You are Francis Kong the author.” Now once in a while there will be people who would say, “Francis, I used to supply you with fabrics and accessories this is why I remember you,” all though people in this category are getting scarcer as I have left the garments industry some 7 years ago. And lately because of my appearance almost every Thursday morning in the short advice segment of the popular morning TV program Umagang Kay Ganda, people would call out my name on the streets and say, “Good morning po Sir Francis…kumusta na si Edu?” J

And so this got me thinking.

What is my profession? Am I a public speaker? An author? A newspaper columnist? A teacher? A business consultant? Maybe all of the above? What is my job description?

The world is changing. I do not consider myself as a man of multi-talent. But I do consider myself as a person of multi-occupation.

The days of “doctor” and “postman” are pretty much gone. It’s an entirely different world today. Which brings me to a sensitive question. Are you still clinging on to a job title?

Now here is another testy question. Do you still get irritated if you are asked to do a task that you feel is “Not in your Job Description?”

You need to wake up!

This is the age of Multi-tasking. So how in heavens name could anyone expect to work within one’s “job description?” And in case you haven’t noticed….doesn’t your job description include a tiny little item that says…. “and other jobs that may require you to do”?

This is why you need to be a well rounded person. Be adventurous. Accept challenge and make the best of your time by reading, listening to tapes, attending seminars, learning things and adding more value to you who are and what you can do.

While we’re at it, what is your job description? Is it a hopeful, optimistic, powerful document that gives you permission to explore new opportunities and to get something done? Or is it a defensive shield that makes it easy for you to identify what’s not your responsibility?

Here is another piece of advice. “It’s not about your job description dude! It’s about you. Don’t ever expect people to raise up your price if you have not raised up your value.

I guess all those years of reading books, (yet I am still reading a lot more today…) all those tapes I listened to (my ipod is full of them…..) and all those seminars I have attended…(will attend a lot more this year….) has contributed to the opportunity of having so many professions. Don’t talk to me about job descriptions but do talk to me about your desire to become more valuable as a person.

There are no menial jobs’ only menial attitudes.

Brian Tracy says this and we should never forget it: “You will always be paid in direct proportion to the work you do, how well you do it, and the difficulty of replacing you.”

*Italics mine.

Hello, Goodbye, Katipunan.

I went to the Katipunan area today. I went to a place on Dela Rosa Street to be exact. A familiar area yet it wasn’t the kind of familiarity that gave me comfort; it was the kind of familiarity that gave me discomfort.

I parked at a spot away from the building I was going to. I parked away from the view of the guard of someone’s condominium building, afraid that he might again mouth someone’s name when he sees me. “No, manong, I am not here for him. Duty calls that’s why I am here so banish that sly smile I see through you,” I thought, imagining a conversation with the guard. One time I was in the area, it was unnerving how the guard still related me to someone like I could never have another reason for being in the area but him.

Inside the studio, the place on Dela Rosa Street I went to, I stayed in my little corner and pushed the thoughts of someone away from my mind. I had buried my dead and there was no use resurrecting it. No, let me correct that, there was no death; just an ending, a chapter that I had to close on my own. Death is morbid. Closing a chapter is gentler, kinder. I am now writing a new chapter.

As I was leaving the place, I thought that my life has been having a lot of fleeting presences lately. Several people just seem to be passing by and I guess, in a way, I have come to accept that some people are just meant to be passersby in my life. No use asking them to stay if there is no reason to or if they don’t want to.

I had been going out with someone recently. At some point, I realized he wasn’t meant to stay as he had been wont to do in the three years I had known him. After the third date, I said goodbye.

As the sun set on Katipunan Avenue today, I found myself seated across a smart and funny person, exchanging stories about a common past. When it was time to say goodbye and leave the place, I knew that it would be our first and last personal conversation. I also told a girl why I was fidgety inside the studio and she told me she would take care of me. I didn’t doubt her sincerity but I knew it wasn’t a “friendship” that was meant to last a lifetime.

I have learned that I don’t have the gift of goodbye. The few goodbyes I’ve had at the end of a relationship were of teleserye proportions. But I think I have the gift of knowing which people in my life will stay and which ones will just come and go…fleeting presences…people just passing by (although, I sometimes had tried to make them stay…and failed).

As I was leaving the area, I saw that the light in someone’s condominium unit was on. Was he there? Should I have resurrected the dead? No…Should I have reopened a chapter and erased everything I had written since I had closed it? I decided to speed away.

Today, I was just a fleeting presence on Dela Rosa Street. If only it could speak, Fabian dela Rosa (the street) would have told me, “Mar, you’re just a passerby here. You don’t belong here.” And I would have answered, “Yes, I don’t belong here. I never belonged here,” and whisper to myself, “although I once thought of staying, of being a constant in this place, not merely a transient visitor.”

I thought I had said goodbye to Katipunan. But I learned that I couldn’t say goodbye. Just as there will be many other fleeting presences in my life, I will again be a passerby in the area on March 14, I suppose, when I would again park at a spot, wait for someone, then later speed away…and on many other days after that.

Timelines

For P.

Six months, sixteen days. My eyes are lined and my lips are glossed, my face is luminously aglow. It is a familiar drive down Katipunan Avenue. The sights and sounds haven’t changed, not much, but I know I have and so have you.

There is a familiar knot in my gut as I look back to the fifteen months past when I was yours and you were mine, though now I ask, was I totally yours and were you ever mine?

Fifteen months. I built castles in the air and thought you would make them come true, but songs were never sung and promises were never kept and the castles vanished into thin air.

Tonight, where the eagle met the star, I thought a smile would give them light. Not much was said, no goodbyes, just a “thank you” and a smile that never brought back the light. And when the eagle descended from the star, I heard her heart say goodbye.

Six months, sixteen days. My eyes are lined and my lips are glossed, my face is luminously aglow. It is a familiar drive away from Katipunan Avenue. I wave to the wind and say goodbye.

January 30, 2009

P's toothy smile...

...and eyes and height and hands.




Eyes, height, hands, smile, teeth…some of the physical characteristics that attract me to a guy. But of course, he has to be more than these. If he doesn’t have the smarts and a beautiful soul, then I’ll just fantasize about Piolo anytime.

*****

In my effort to further appease BBB, who I think freaked out when he read P all over my happy blogs lately, I am posting another picture of P (as in Piolo Pascual) with a very toothy smile.

BBB, I seldom refer to P as P in my blogs. I refer to him by some other name (or pronoun...no worries, nothing harsh and evil) so please don’t be bothered as there has been no “sudden renewing of something that we had decided was better off buried,” as you referred to in your mail. Gosh, why do we have to talk about burials? Why can’t we just refer to it as a closed chapter? Burials are just so gloomy and sad...and homicidal...even murderous...and I am not a murderer. I only murder cockroaches and mosquitoes...I think I just contradicted myself.*smiles*

Let me introduce P to you...

To those who are wondering who P is, here he is:



He certainly knows how to smile…a heart-melting smile...haaayyy...*eyes flutter*

Alapaap

My current state of mind:

Masdan mo ang aking mata
'Di mo ba nakikita
Ako'y lumilipad at nasa alapaap na
Gusto mo bang sumama ?

Now I am thinking that I would like to marry a rock star (mwahahaha). So, P, please stop singing love songs! (I am trying to imagine P wearing long hair and leather jacket…just like in one of his movies with Judy Ann Santos and his Sunday appearances on ASAP).

But the Ereaserheads concert notwithstanding, I am really happy now…with or without the rock star Piolo.

I am singing (minus the words that should not be said):

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment people dance and sing
we're just one big family
and it's our God-forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved

I am happy…so so happy…*peace*

Summer

I don’t like summer.
I don’t like the way the summer sun
darkens my already dark skin
and how the warm air causes me to sweat
even when I’m not doing anything
or how the morning air causes perspiration
to dot my back just as I step out of the bathroom.

I am not sure of this;
maybe I was absent when it was
discussed in class
but it is dustier in summer
as if the warm air causes dust particles
to rise and dance in the air
right before my very eyes.
Later, I sneeze.

But if summer leads you to me,
if it allows us an excuse to be together,
if it gives us the chance to escape the city
and enjoy the waves at our feet,
then let me have summer
with the warm air and the sweat
and the summer morning air
that greets me as I step out
of the bathroom.

Let me have summer’s cold nights
when I can feel the warmth of your embrace
and your lips on mine.
Let me have summer’s warm days
and bright sun so I can gaze at your face
and look at your eyes
and see me in them.

One Life to Live

The “One Life to Live” series of Victory Christian Fellowship ended yesterday, March 7th. The series was based on the book “One Month to Live” but since “one month” was a bit scary, the title was changed to “One Life to Live.” It has had a profound effect on me and it has underscored the truth that with everything that we aim for—success, wealth, fame—relationships are all that really matter. At the end of our lives, the people around us will not remember us for the money we have in the bank or the businesses we have built or how far we have gone up the corporate ladder but for how we have touched their lives.

The series had four different topics each Saturday from February 14th to March 7th—Live Passionately, Love Completely, Learn Humbly, and Leave a Legacy. There were two videos used in the series that I would like to share with you.

This first video was used in discussing the topic “Live Passionately.” If we have only one life to live, how would we want to spend it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvYb4BLIAQw

This second video was used in discussing the topic “Leave a Legacy.” How would we want to be remembered and what do we need to change in our lives now to achieve this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42E2fAWM6rA

Painting You

Are you happy?

I once asked you this while you were lying on my lap as I ran my fingers through your hair, your temples, all the way down to the bridge of your nose.

I remember your face from memory as I paint it on the empty canvass staring in front of me.

And you said, “I’m not.”

So, what if I invite you to my world where colors are bright and laughter is loud? Where there are movies to see and art galleries to visit; where the biggest dreams come true because hope and passion abound; where we can scale the highest mountains and swim the deepest seas.

What if I open up your world as I open mine and let’s explore the beauty that is in everything big and small? It is not always sunny but we can dance in the rain and not care about the people around us. We can bask in the sun when it’s up and at night, count the stars while on our back at a beach with the waves playing at our feet.

Let us splash colors to our worlds that have long been in the shadows of the past, over the yellow flowers, red apples, and green grass. Let us dance like there’s no tomorrow, sing at the top of our lungs, and kiss, and hug, and live, and love.

I look at the still empty canvass before me. I look at my now empty lap and my palms stained with paint.

Timelines and Smiles

For P.

Fifteen months. I count the number of times you smiled, the number of times we shared a meal, and the number of times we shared a laugh. I read each entry in my diary and paint the picture in my mind. I still remember the moments vividly, the colors so bright, your voice, your eyes. But I wonder why my heart doesn’t skip a beat and the memories don’t make me smile; they don’t make me cry.

I never said goodbye, afraid to obliterate you from my life. Unsure whether to forget a promise or just keep it in my heart, filed within the recesses of my mind.

Goodbye. I tried uttering the word in the many moments I was alone. My mind agreed but my heart did not. One last smile, I said, one last smile and I would like to feel if my heart would skip a beat and if I myself could smile.

One last smile. I would like to see if I would long to kiss your lips and melt in your embrace.

Just last night. I longed to share a laugh, a meal, perhaps. I longed to touch your face and hug you tight.

Tonight. You smiled that one last smile. I looked into your eyes and did not see me. My heart didn’t skip a beat and I couldn’t smile. I turned my back, walked away, ran down the stairs, and asked myself “is this goodbye?”


February 2, 2009
Ed. February 4, 2009

Thank You

I have been following the blog of a friend. As I was reading it, I realized that she is currently going through what I went through last year. Life as they say is a cycle, a wheel in revolution; it has its ups and downs. She said this season might as well be her “dip” season. I, on the other hand, think that I am on the upswing. Lately though, I have been fearful that this season of my life might end soon (and I don’t want it to because I am sooo enjoying it)…that my own “dip” would come (and I don’t want it…not too soon). But hey, who says it will not come? Who says I will not be tested and disciplined and broken and molded yet again? And why do I have to be fearful when I have survived everything that has been thrown my way with God’s grace? I have always come out stronger and better.

I couldn’t have survived without the help of friends. To those who nursed the wounded eagle, thank you and I love you more (you know who you are). I am over the wounded-ness and am now back with the serenity I once had. To Pastor Dennis who prayed with me for spiritual revival during the prayer and fasting week, thank you! He told me to be joyful and I feel I am. To Tita Virgie who was instrumental in answering a question I had been struggling with, thank you!

I still am not perfect; I still trip every now and then but more are the nights when I can sleep soundly and wake up with a silly smile on my face. I am soaring. Let's all soar!

Isaiah 40:31 (New International Version)
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Blogroll

These are my blogs:

sereneeagle.blogspot.com
sereneeagle.wordpress.com
sereneeagle.multiply.com

I don’t even know why I keep three blogs.

I like Multiply because it is easier to upload pictures there.

Blogspot is where I keep the more emo stuff (and other stuff that I don’t want the pastors to see…hehehe…kidding).

Wordpress, well, I like it because I can categorize my posts (OC!) and I was able to edit the header to have a Boracay 2007 picture up at the blog, which I couldn’t do at Blogspot because I don’t understand the whole HTML stuff.

Economy Seats

I would like to share this article from the Philippine Star written by one of the columnists I admire.

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BUSINESS MATTERS (BEYOND THE BOTTOM LINE) By Francis J. Kong
Updated March 01, 2009 12:00 AM

Last week I got a letter from The Philippine Airlines Mabuhay Miles Club that instantaneously changed the smile on my face into a slight frown. I couldn’t understand it. They have downgraded my status from “Elite” to “regular” informing me that I have not met the required sectors or mileage for year 2007-2008. This came to me as a surprise. I take a local flight every week (or maybe every other week) and I have in fact traveled more times domestically last year compared to the previous years.

And then it dawned on me. I have always persuaded the organizers of my speaking events to book me on PAL flights as I usually take the first flight out and would prefer the comfort of the Mabuhay lounge for a little bit of rest and preparation. But due to budget considerations, organizers book me promo tickets that do not provide miles credit and thus, the downgrade.

Now this leaves me with a quandary. Should I then just leave them to book me whatever tickets they want or maybe I can require them to book me “Business Class” as part of my demands?

My constant email pal Philip See sent me this interesting article that made me decide on the proper course of action. It is based on an article written by Singapore’s millionaire Adam Khoo. Adam says: “Someone came up to me and asked, ‘How come a millionaire like you is travelling economy?’ My reply was, ‘That’s why I am a millionaire.” He still looked pretty confused. This again confirms that greatest lie ever told about wealth. Many people have been brainwashed to think that millionaires have to wear Gucci, Hugo Boss, Rolex, and sit on first class in air travel. The truth is that most self-made millionaires are frugal and only spend on what is necessary and of value. That is why they are able to accumulate and multiply their wealth so much faster. I refuse to buy a first class ticket or to buy a $300 shirt because I think that it is a complete waste of money. However, I happily pay $1,300 to send my two-year old daughter to Julia Gabriel Speech and Drama without thinking twice.

I noticed that it was only those who never had to work hard to build their own wealth spent like there was no tomorrow. Somehow, when you did not have to build everything from scratch, you do not really value money. This is precisely the reason why a family’s wealth (no matter how much) rarely lasts past the third generation. Then some people ask me, ‘What is the point in making so much money if you don’t enjoy it?’

I don’t really find happiness in buying branded clothes, jewelry or sitting first class. Even if buying something makes me happy it is only for a while, it does not last. Material happiness never last, it just give you a quick fix. After a while you feel lousy again and have to buy the next thing which you think will make you happy. I always think that if you need material things to make you happy, then you live a pretty sad and unfulfilled life. Instead, what makes me happy is when I see my children laughing and playing and learning so fast. What makes me happy is when I see my companies and trainers reaching more and more people every year in so many more countries. What makes me really happy is when I read all the emails about how my books and seminars have touched and inspired someone’s life.

The point I want to put across is that happiness must come from doing your life’s work (be in teaching, building homes, designing, trading, winning tournaments etc..) and the money that comes is only a by-product. If you hate what you are doing and rely on the money you earn to make you happy by buying stuff, then I think that you are living a meaningless life.

End of article. Thanks Philip for the wonderful article.

How true this is. Now I know what I would do. I will never insist on my organizers getting me a Business Class ticket. I will feel the joy of lining up on economy row just like the rest of the people I know. I wouldn’t mind waiting outside the lounge because while these things offer me convenience, they do not offer me happiness. And I will be happy not because of what is on me but what is IN me.