Letters

In my to-do-list last weekend were three letters for three friends that had been waiting to be written. I finished writing the letters yesterday and have sent them out. (I have learned that I am not so good at face-to-face conversations especially the ones when I have to advise or reconcile with someone as I have the tendency to be brutally honest, so just let me write. At least I can edit my words and be gentler.)

I wrote mostly about humility and forgiveness, two areas I have always struggled with, especially forgiveness. I don’t forgive easily. I give in to anger and say hurtful words and think thoughts I would rather not talk about because I am not proud of them. But recent, or let’s say, two events that had transpired in the past two years of my life taught me just about these two things—humility and forgiveness, underscore on forgiveness. I have learned that I just have to decide to forgive, not because of the other person but because it is the right thing to do. I have to choose to forgive because not doing so spells defeat on my part. The other person’s world will not stop because I haven’t forgiven him but I would be stuck with the hatred in my heart. That’s tragic. I would have lingering anger while the other would be celebrating life, such a loser!

Late last year, over pasta and pizza, I told a friend how I had asked myself one time why I had to go through so much emotional pain. I mean, I could have just gone through such kind of pain vicariously, right? I have witnessed friends go through break-ups and separations; were those not enough to learn my lesson?

As I wrote the letters, I remembered the lessons I have learned from those two events. And those are what I passed on to my friends. Now I know why I had to go through those experiences, through such heart-wrenching pain.